A CIA investigation revealed shocking conclusions about cheating rumours.
Following the recent non-accusatory rumors shaking the Chess world at its highest level, the CIA (Cheater Investigation Association) has mandated an internal investigation.
This group of qualified experts, including but not limited to Bahamian fiscal residents, political figures from all sides, casino players, oncologists, Don Juan and Lance Armstrong has now finished its work and is categorical: every player cheats.
They do so by using a device usually hidden in the skull. The exact version of the engine installed is widely dependent of the individual, ranging from MAIA 1 to a weak version of Stockfish or Leela. Fat Fritz is nowhere to be found, probably due to its lawsuit loss against Stockfish.
Informed beforehand, the FIDE has immediately forbidden its use by all its employees and elected members, showing the path forward.
The CIA is currently assessing new AI methods leveraging ChatGPT and their mathematician friends to detect and prevent its use, and will keep us informed.
This text is not mine, an anonymous friend of mine wrote it. It is obviously satire and not an official Lichess announcement.
