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abort

Dear All
I try to select my intended games from the lobby that other players are creating and seeking for an opponent.After some time, I am facing with warning indicating you have aborted so many games so you can just attend our tournaments. For the games that I have been forced to play with black so what can I do if the opponent is not moving after waiting a long time? I accept the fact that I am responsible for the first move if I comes out to be as white so if I abort this game this is my shame but what can I do if I am black and the opponent doesn't move? So do you think it is more wise to not count that games that I am not shameful for aborting them to totally ban me from continuing?
Please comment me back

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