Wizards suck

For some reason, kids seem to think wizards are cool, but they're not! Wizards use magic to cheat at things, like card tricks and epic battles.

I say it's high time to talk about wizards like the dunce-cap wearing, performance enhanced jerks that they are.

Who else despises wizards?

@clousems
As a wizard, I urge caution against such rhetoric.

Do you think the witch burnings ended because witches and wizards ceased to exist?

No - it's because we developed sufficient magic to detect, & manipulate those that would persecute us - erase their memories, or if need be - they might have a tragic accident when they're riding their carriage and their horses go WILD!

We also spiffied up on our invisibility spells, flight magic, have developed underground cities, and have puppet'ed leaders around the world.

I know this all sounds very Machiavellian - but we also do many positive things, we have a "prayer" detector - that listens to peoples desperate plees, and will send a wizard to heal people with difficult illnesses while they sleep(: We don't care if people know about us, or give us credit - it's a wizards creed to do good first and foremost... and a little mischief secondly ;)

If wizards are so powerful, how'd Merlin get stuck in a friggin' rock for all eternity?

@clousems said in #3:
> If wizards are so powerful, how'd Merlin get stuck in a friggin' rock for all eternity?
He didn't, that's just a story written to get people off his arse, he had people trying to call him via magic rock like 80 times a week!

May Rincewind be your tour guide.

Yes, or else why are they always portrayed as old men? Why does Radagast eat mushrooms?

@verylate said in #5:
> May Rincewind be your tour guide.
A noble wizard indeed

@WassimBerbar said in #6:
> Yes, or else why are they always portrayed as old men? Why does Radagast eat mushrooms?

Because they live backwards in time

And well what kind of mushrooms? If that is a question you must ask then it is something to try to know yourself. But it ties into why he has such a deep connection with nature and awareness of animals and plants

Man, y'inz are just a bunch of far-Hufflepuff propagandists.

You're a bunch of Harry Plotters in a Qaballa cabal.

@salmon_rushdie said in #7:
> And well what kind of mushrooms? If that is a question you must ask then it is something to try to know yourself. But it ties into why he has such a deep connection with nature and awareness of animals and plants

Yeah, but Finn MacCool would kick his ass

@clousems said in #1:
> For some reason, kids seem to think wizards are cool, but they're not! Wizards use magic to cheat at things, like card tricks and epic battles.
>
> I say it's high time to talk about wizards like the dunce-cap wearing, performance enhanced jerks that they are.
>
> Who else despises wizards?

I agree, They are weird people, who live alone in the forest. they are dirty and do not know hygiene since they have beards that fall down to their feet, never go to the hairdresser and have Diogenes and Noah syndrome